April 17, 2014 by Miles Rost

Friday Fictioneers – Daddy Hazards

Hey, everyone. I hope you all have a chance to read my latest stories, including “The Runner” and last week’s hit “Changing Tides“. Besides that, all aboard for today’s Friday Fictioneers.

Daddy Hazards

Harlan secured the helmet over his face, tightening it down.

“Alright, it’s in place and the apparatus is operational!”

His wife, Marisa, looked at him nervously.

“Are you sure that you’ll be able to do this correctly?”

“Of course! It’ll be alright. He’ll grow out of this phase, hopefully.”

He slowly sauntered over to the table, and pulled out two pairs of pliers.

“Honey, did you ever think that we’d have to deal with a child who’s poo makes a paper mill smell like a rose garden?”

“Nope, but I didn’t expect to have a child in the first place. Miracles do happen.”

“And I wouldn’t trade it for the world, honey!”

April 9, 2014 by Miles Rost

Friday Fictioneers – Everything It Touches

Here’s another Friday Fictioneers story for you. Don’t forget to read all of my other stories, including Changing Tides, and one of the more talked about stories “The Beginning of Something New”. Can’t wait to hear what you have to say. Now: ON with the show.

Everything It Touches

“So, when did that thing get down here, Charlie?”

“Well, Burt, it was about 2 days ago. We all thought Noor was playing a practical joke with her streamers, when it just landed there.”

“Has it done anything we should know?”

“Not from what I can see, but I did smell lemon and ammonia coming from the houses that it touched.”

“Wait…lemons and ammonia?”

“Yeah. Anything you can think of?”

Charlie called up to his house.

“Hey, Meriel, how does the house look?”

“Clean as a whistle, Charlie. Now get up here for supper!”

Charlie shrugged as Burt looked on in wonder.

April 3, 2014 by Miles Rost

Friday Fictioneers – Bonk!

Bonk!

Here I sit, hanging by a wire.

I am waiting for my time to come. No one noticed as I wait above for my moment.

I see the young pop star, fresh out of the factory. Ah, I remember them well. Stock Aitken Waterman-types, now they’re all coming out of the Disney machine.

I’ve been up here for nearly 45 years. Same lights, same everything.

Oh, my time is just about here! I get my chance to do something awesome!

If I can just wiggle a little more, then I’ll be front page news!

SNAP!

“YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

BONK!

Oh yeah, I am evil.

March 22, 2014 by Miles Rost

Friday Fictioneers – Open The Door

Open The Door

*bang bang bang*

“Carole, why won’t you open the door?”

“I don’t want to come out! I’m scared!”

“Scared of what?”

“I’m scared of what the world will do to me?”

“Honey, that was 15 years ago. The people who accused you of the crime have long since left the area.”

“But everyone else is still there!”

“Sweetie, if you don’t come out of there, I will have to come in and get you.”

“You don’t want to do that, James. You could be the next one.”

“Carole, I made you a werewolf. What could you do to me?”

“I could have your litter…”

February 23, 2014 by Miles Rost

Friday Fictioneers – Because MUSIC!

I am late to the party, due to other things taking up my time, but here is another entry for Friday Fictioneers. The picture is from my friend David Stewart at The Green Walled Tower. I got an interesting idea for this…

Because MUSIC!

It was hard being a creative director. He came to Korea with his co-worker because of a bell with big sound.”You think this one looks good?”

“Seems a bit puny. Brian wanted a big one.”

“Let’s see what it does.”

He rung the bell.

Suddenly, a humongous *BONG* resounded throughout the countryside. The sound was so thick and rich, the men still vibrated after the bell went silent.

“I liked that!”

“It’s still too tinny. It won’t work.”

“It nearly shook your clothes off. It almost shook you all night long.”

“Sounds like a new song is brewing. AC/DC time.”

January 30, 2014 by Miles Rost

Friday Fictioneers – I Hate This Job

Here’s your latest installment of Friday Fictioneers. I will have other stories coming up soon, since it is Lunar New Year and I’m not being swamped with utter and complete stupidity.

I Hate This Job

“What the heck is going on out there?” Mr. Dworkin called out from his office.

The shop was all quiet except for a solitary robot, working at a CNC lathe.

“Hey! You! Lathe-boy! Where did everyone go?”

The robot kept working on the lathe, paying the old man no mind.

“Well, whatever you do, don’t be smoking on the job. We have wood in this place.”

Just as Mr. Dworkin sat down again, the head of the robot popped off and smoke started to fill the workshop. He looked up, and growled.

“Lathe-Boy, you’re smoking again, aren’t you?!?!?!”

January 24, 2014 by Miles Rost

Friday Fictioneers: Terrace Gardening

Welcome to Friday Fictioneers at Music and Fiction. Not much music today, but you definitely get the fiction!

Terrace Gardening

“Heya, Pete.”

“Yo, Charlie.”

“Getting ready for the new harvest season?”

“Yep.”

“Any major plans on what you’re planting?”

“Nope.”

“Can I throw my toilet waste down the back of your hill?”

“Sure.”

Charlie looked at Pete funny, and waited for a response. After a minute of no words, he got fed up.

“I thought you’d be mad.”

“Mad? For free fertilizer for my crops? Add goat manure, and it’s a sure bumper crop!”

Charlie frowned.

“Foiled again!”

December 26, 2013 by Miles Rost

Friday Fictioneers – Pearly Whites

As per normal again, Friday Fictioneers! Here’s my contribution, after nearly 3 long months of rest and agonizing over grad school applications:

Pearly Whites

Bright lights shone across the sky.

The beam blasted from the tower into the room of one Marc Lavagneur, paparazzi extraordinaire and general pain in the butt.

“Gah! Can’t they just stop with the light already? I get the picture!” he yelled out the window.

He walked over to his phone and dialed up a number he never wanted to call.

“Hello? Creative Arts Agency? This is Marc Lavagneur. I give up. I’m done.”

The light stayed on.

“AND TELL LONI ANDERSON TO CLOSE HER MOUTH! IT’S BLINDING ME!”

The light suddenly went off.

July 3, 2013 by Miles Rost

Friday Fictioneers: Wheel Of Fortune

A quick note before I get into today’s post.

If some of you are wondering why I haven’t posted any stories in the last week, there were two reasons:

1) I was on vacation for 6 days, which meant doing things that were lazy. Sometimes, ya just need it.

2) I was focusing on my phonology exam, and am currently getting ready to work on methodology.

As time goes along, I’ll get back into writing more stories. For right now, however, I have to focus on a few things.

——————–

Today’s picture comes from David Stewart, my blog-father and great buddy here in Korea.

(Copyright – David Stewart)

Wheel Of Fortune

“Okay, we got everyone ready?”

The cameramen looked up at the host of the show, and smiled. He gave a thumbs up, indicating that they were ready.

“3…..2…..1….”

Cameraman brought down his finger, the host smiled and waved at the camera.

“Welcome, everyone, to the first ever “Embarrassment Day” telecast. Tonight, you’re going to see people do amazingly embarassing things for the next hour.”

Cameraman pointed to a second camera, and the host moved to look.

“First, I will inaugurate this show with my own embarrassing display!”

The host ripped off his clothes, and jumped off the building, landing on top of his female on-air partner at the bottom.

“I MEANT TO DO THAT!”

June 28, 2013 by Miles Rost

Friday Fictioneers: Break It To Me Gently

It’s Friday. That means Friday Fictioneers for this time period while I study and get things in order. Enjoy today’s selection!

copyright-Indira byway of Scott Vanatter

Break It To Me Gently

by Miles Rost

The truck whizzed down the street, blaring it’s horn and trying to get people out of it’s way.

“Breeeeeak iiiiiiit….to me gentlyyyyyyy.”

“Tommy, stop singing right now!”

“Why? I thought you liked this song.”

“Yes, the way Juice Newton sang it. But not when you, Mr. Firefighter of the year, attempt to kill it.”

“It’s my way of dealing with stress.”

“Like your job?”

“We’re going to put out a fire at a guitar factory, why not make it musical?”

The driver facepalmed in his mind, as he continued to race down the highway.