(Author’s note: Nothing major. Still toiling on 10,000 words. Work’s getting in the way. Here’s today’s fictioneers.)
PHOTO PROMPT – © – Georgia Koch
Cold River
by Miles H. Rost
The winter came early for the people of Charleston-upon-Avonlea. Bitter cold came in mid-September, unannounced.
By early October, the river Avonlea had frozen over. 4 of every 10 people got supplies.
November came quickly, and the cold persisted. The river seemed to be nearly frozen solid. Attempts to do some ice fishing came up with very little except more ice.
The people were so used to doing their own thing, they didn’t ask for any sort of help from other places. They didn’t know how.
By the time the soft rains of April showed up, there was no one left alive. Even as the bustling village of Newport, 7 kilometers away, went about it’s own business.
This is a highly moral tale. That’s both its strength, and perhaps also its weakness. I loved the idea, but I didn’t feel it. I would have felt it if I’d seen Charleston’s tragedy through the eyes of a person
Oh that was an unexpected end! Very sad.
I can see this happening… compassion is dying
Chilling stuff!
“…went about it’s own business.” it’s should be its.
“The river seemed to be nearly frozen solid.” “seemed” and “nearly” kind of mean the same thing. “seemed” is like suggesting but not guaranteeing, and “nearly” is pretty much there. you can save some extra words by getting rid of one and adding elsewhere.
“4 of every 10 people got supplies.” if you can add the word “only” in front of 4, this would be stronger. also, it’s not good to start a sentence with a numeral. “four” is needed.
otherwise, well done.
I do love the differing stories this picture has delivered. The ice must have been very bad.
The isolation here is palpable, both caused by the weather, and their social circumstances. Sad, sad story.
Such an unnecessary waste. Very sad.
Chilling tone told in a very matter of fact style which emphasised the brutality and relentlessness of the weather. Well told
I liked the almost nonchalant style this was told in. This was as if the cold had taken away any semblance of emotion. There are a few nits nothing that wouldn’t be cured with an edit sweep. A horrific situation and so near normality. Good work.