The Beginning of Something New (aka “Supernova”)

The Beginning of Something New
(aka
Supernova)
By Miles Rost

New feelings were always so hard to understand.

Coming out of a mentally abusive relationship was not one of the plans that Mayumi Shiomi had in mind for the weekend. She hoped to have done that earlier in the week, so she could heal over the weekend and not have to deal with the crying she would ultimately do at work.

The 22-year old was finally able to say goodbye to the abuse she took. Seeing her old boyfriend leave on his motorcycle for the other side of Australia was a relief for her. Now that the hound was away, “The Fox” was likely ready to play.

She looked at herself in the mirror quickly, but after a few moments looking away from the mirror, she decided to take an inventory.

Ah need to do this, she thought, Since the old baka won’t be back in West Penfield, Ah have to see what’s left.

The large bathroom allowed her the comfort of being able to walk around and not worry about being in an enclosed space. She made sure of that when she bought the new townhouse. With all the room , she would be able to get a good view of what she looked like now.

The young woman looked at herself in the full length mirror, hung delicately on the wall close to the shower. She ran her hand through the short, incredibly light brown hair that she wore. It was a good look on her, seeing as she kept it since the middle of high school. It also helped her when she had to deal with drinking a bit much, as having too much hair would mean vomit smell constantly.

She gazed at her reflection, the face that people called a “Kitsune” face. She didn’t care much for her nickname of “The Fox”, but she was willing to live with it as it did adequately describe her normal, everyday look. At least, what the look used to be before she was involved with the baka. She did have beautifully colored hazel eyes, but they rarely were seen as she had a constant squint to her eyes. It was part of “The Fox” charm that people knew.

She analyzed the rest of her visage, noting that her body still had the curves that she inherited from her Australian mother’s side of the family. She was definitely a beauty, and she knew it. She knew that guys would look at her and immediately fall at her feet, even knowing that her reputation kept pointing to the phrase “Dangerous Curves Ahead”. She did a slight wiggle, and smiled.

Yep, ah still got it!

She drew a breath, as she pulled a chair to her. As she sat down, she looked in the mirror, directly into her own eyes.

The hardest part of her analysis was about to come.

She was fine on the outside, but she needed to take an inventory of her inside. She needed to look at her mind, her spirit, and the wholeness of her being on the inside of the beautiful shell.

“Alright, Mayumi, how’re ya doing?”

She looked at herself as she waited for her spirit to answer, while her heart blazed a thousand words a second describing how good it was that she was free of the bastard that hurt her. She snickered that her heart would be the first one to send off the signals of relief. Her spirit would be the one that she would need to focus on, as her relationship had gone on for very long time.

“Are ya ready to get movin’ on with life?”

Somewhere within her spirit, a peace that was indescribable finally appeared to her. It was like it was saying, “You will be healed, be free.”

Her mind, however, was the one that raced through a million possibilities about why things would go wrong. Her mind, the one part of her being that just would never shut up. It was where the biggest attack on her would come from, and she knew this was a possibility.

She looked at herself in the mirror again, leaning forward in the chair to get a closer look at her face. She knew she didn’t need the baka, but everytime she tried to quit him, she’d always go looking for him again. She never realized that a lot of her problems surrounding him were less about her and more about a part of her past that had since been rectified. She realized this, and said the only thing that she could.

“Lord, ah think it’s time for me to get livin’. Ah need your help to get through this.”

It was the best prayer she could think of, seeing as she was now able to be restored to a condition that would be perfect for her.

She was about to continue analyzing herself when she heard a loud buzzing sound. She forgot about her phone, and the alarm that was set for 5PM. She had two hours to get over to Shine FM, a relatively new radio station broadcasting to the suburbs of Sydney, including West Penfield. The job she held, for such a long time, was one of the saving graces that helped her in the dealings with her baka boyfriend.

“Time for this girl to get herself on the air,” she said to the mirror, putting on a smile that would show that “The Fox” was back on the stalk.

Today was the first day of her new life, a new air of freedom. She would never go back to that baka again, and she would most certainly spend a lot more time on the things that she loved.

“Lookout, world. Ahm back!” She said, giving her reflection a wink.

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Old and Wise

by Miles Rost

88 years of life gave Emil Jacobson lots of wonderful memories.

He sat in his bed, looking out the window as the dawn started to rise. He couldn’t sleep that night, he knew that he had to write down his thoughts. He was in the last moments of writing his memoirs, “The Long Story of an Ordinary Man”. Emil had many years as a writer, and many years as a father and husband. As he went through his memories, he knew the last things he wanted to write.

To those I’ve left behind in my life, I wanted you to know that you always have shared my deepest thoughts. No matter where I have been in my life, whether it was in the shadows Dongdaemun with my brothers in arms, or in the people around Northridge after the ’94 quake, you follow my life where I go.

He set his pen down again, looking out at the garden below his window. He looked at the pumpkin flowers as they were blooming. He smiled as he saw the autumn winds lightly blowing the leaves on the trees. The tall oak tree that he saw behind the garden was gently swaying its branches in the breeze.

He picked up the cell phone next to his bed and slowly typed a message to someone listed as “Publicist”.

Stop by in a few hours,” he said out loud, with a creaky voice, “The manuscript will be finished. No need for edits. Publish it raw.”

He put down the phone and picked up his pen again. He looked at the brightening sky and smiled. His eyes became bright and glowing.

To those I leave behind, I want you all to know that you’ve always shared my darkest hours, no matter where I’d go. My sons and daughters, you saw me in the darkest of hours. When your mom passed on, when I held that 15 year old girl in my hands as she died in Northridge, when I was hospitalized after my beach house collapsed into the Pacific; you all were there for me, and saw me in the darkness. You lifted me out by just being nearby. For that, I will always be thankful.

He smiled, as he thought of his last sentences. As he thought, his lungs spasmed and he hacked. For a good 10 seconds, he hacked, his old age showing through in each cough.  Even with the coughing, he returned to a smile and he wrote again.

Shadows approached me in this last portion of my life, and I see them surrounding me. My life has been a good one, as I see it now. From being a father and being a news writer, all the way to being the old and wisened man that I am right now, I feel as though I have lived the best life that I could. It is time for the new generation to write their stories, as my generation is finishing. As the final curtain is lifted from my eyes, I can see my life in 20/20 vision. It has been good.

He put his pen down, and breathed lightly on the page. Making sure the ink was dry, he closed the book. He sat back in his bed, pulling the covers up to his chest. As the sun started peeking over the neighbors house and the hills of the small coastal town, he closed his eyes and smiled. He breathed in the air and sighed contently.

He took in one more breath, and the smile from his face slowly started to fade. He grew still and stony. His hands still holding the book on his lap, his body sat like a statue’s.

——-

Emil Jacobson looked down upon his body. He smiled, seeing the completeness of his earthly life for one last moment. He turned his spirit towards the rising dawn and smiled, as he was lifted up above the trees and above the houses. He continued to fly upwards above the earth. With a quickening pace, he flew upwards through clouds and through space. As he flew upwards, the years that were apart of his earthly life started to melt away.

Within what seemed like moments, he stood on a rocky cliff, looking out over a vast ocean. He looked down at himself and saw himself not as the old man that he was, but as a strong built young man.

“Welcome!” he heard someone call from behind. He turned around and looked at another man.

“Is this Paradise?”

The welcoming man looked at him and smiled.

“Emil, welcome to Paradise. Your arrival is the talk of the folk here. Let’s go meet them, eh?”

Emil smiled at Paul, and joined along with him as he walked from the rocky cliff over to other heavenly folk.

He had arrived.

Guardian Angel

(aka “I Will Wait For You: Chapter 2)

by Miles Rost

A long while ago, I had told the story of an incident where my “future wife spirit” had come to visit me and inform me that I was to wait for her. Naturally, I was skeptical, and after it was all over, I wasn’t able to get any sleep the rest of that night.

The next day, for the record, I was incredibly useless at work and was raked over the coals by my boss for being a “paperweight around the ankles of this firm”. One day, I vow I will leave that company and never look back.

To say the least, it got worse. I had the prescience of mind to go and visit my pastor, who deemed me as being either incredibly insane, a newly initiated member of a cult, or a new apostle. In that order. He wasn’t much of a help on this, lemme tell ya.

Fast forward to three months later. By this time, I nearly forgot about what happened. I went through my daily life, doing what I do, and just being sad about my situation. I came home from work as the sun was at the most perfect position in the sky. I walked out to my patio, opened a bottle of IPA, and looked out over the neighborhood and at the sun. It was probably the first time since that night when I actually had peace in my heart.

I went back inside and sat down on my bed, as I was in a studio apartment. I felt a bit sad, because while I was at peace with most things, I was back to the old habit of mine about seeing my life ticking away. I even kicked myself a little bit because I was thinking about an old girlfriend who I likely could have been in a long-term relationship with, had I not been a greedy little buggard.

In the midst of this darkening of my mood, and as the sun went down over the horizon, a gust of wind came in from the window. I looked up and I saw the misty form from before, this time being a little bit more corporeal. She sat next to me on my bed and smiled.

This time, I was able to recognize that it was a feminine smile, and that she was much more defined as feminine, though I was unable to see the rest of the defining features of her.

“Seems like you were starting to forget about me.”

I looked at her and sighed heavily.

“Well, I figured that you were a one-time dream that was the result of eating a spicy pizza.”

She giggled at my statement, which in my eyes was kind of cute.

“When it comes to God and things, that has a tendency of being the case. But, I’m here now.”

“So, my future wife spirit, why have you come today?”

She smirked as she stood, and turned towards me.

“I am here to spend a little time with you. The time will come soon when we meet, and you’ve had a lot of problems lately.”

I looked at her with a little disbelief, and decided that now would be the best time to really challenge her and see if she was exactly what she said she was.

“Okay, what would some of these problems be?”

“Well, you hate your job and want to get away from there, but you can’t because you need the money to pay the bills that got you the job in the first place.”

I pikued at this. Okay, first guess is a lucky one.

“Then, in the process of forgetting what happened before when I last visited, you became lonely and were thinking about an old girlfriend of yours.”

Okay, that froze me.

“That’s why it was decided for me to come over here and spend a little time with you while my person sleeps.”

This is the point where I suddenly felt sad about everything, and that she knew so much about what was going on. It was pathetic, that I seemed to be so hopeless in my life, that I needed a reminder about things from the spirit of my future wife. I even started to shed a couple of tears, which made her sit beside me on the floor by my bed. She brushed her finger against my face, and the cold appendage took away one of my tears.

Don’t cry. I’m here, I’m strong. You don’t have to hide what you feel from me.”

“But how can I even trust you? I mean, you say all of these things, and I remember asking you about your service to Christ before. But, still, you’re just a spirit. How am I supposed to know if this is truly happening, or if I’m being tricked?”

She sat for a second, and said something that I never would have expected.

“I think that “go with your gut” would be good advice.”

Aaaand that’s where I became sold on the idea that this was, in fact, the spirit of my future wife.

That night, I pretty much told her everything. Everything I felt, everything that I was dealing with. And I talked about my regrets to her.

Regrets only keep you where you used to be. I can see that there is joy deep down inside, someone who is so alive. That’s why I’m here tonight. I’m here to be your guardian in a way.”

“A guardian…wife spirit?”

She giggled at my suggestion, and she smiled. Before we knew it, the night had passed and there was dawn that was about to break. She looked up and gasped.

“Oh, this is not good. I’m going to be waking up soon, and I don’t want to leave.”

“What would happen if you did stay?”

“Simply put, I would disappear. Consciousness would wake my dreaming self, and until the next major time I’d dream, I would not be able to come here.”

The thought of her disappearing in front of me was not a good one for my psyche.

It’s a cold morning, my guardian wife spirit. You should fly back to yourself. Don’t worry about me, I think I’ll be fine now.”

She smiled at me, and gave me a ghostly kiss on my forehead. It…felt cold, but yet warm at the same time.

“I will hopefully see you in the waking world very soon. Keep praying for me, that you’ll see me. And keep yourself ready. Christ’s gonna make things happen in pretty short order here.”

I was about to say something, but she suddenly wisped out of the room and through the window. As the first crack of sunlight started rising above the buildings, I was filled with a bit of sadness, and yet a little bit of hope.

“She’s actually out there,” I said to myself, as I proceeded to call my boss and leave a message saying that I was sick for the day. Yeah, after this event, there was no way I was going into work.

I Will Wait For You

by Miles Rost

It was just another night like any other. My 33 year old self went home after a hard day of work, picking up a half a pizza to gnaw on as my dinner and breakfast for the next day. I didn’t even get through one of the 4 slices before I just passed out. At that time, the sun was just going down on the horizon.

“…hey….you….”

For some reason, I kept hearing this voice while I slept.

“…hey…wake up…”

I really did think I was dreaming. Until I felt something like icy hot running up my foot from ankle to middle toe. That was when I sat up straight and looked around. My eyes adjusted to the dark a little bit, and I didn’t see anything. I looked down at my clock, that cried at me 2AM. I thought that it was annoying that I was woken up at 2AM for no reason. After putting down the clock, I looked back in front of me.

“Hi! You’re awake!”

I saw this ghostly apparition in front of my face. The first thing that went through my mind, in a split second, was that I was dreaming again. After blinking once, I realize that, in fact, I wasn’t.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”

The apparition backed up a little bit and twisted it’s face into a bit of an annoyed look.

“Oh come on, it’s not like I was intentionally trying to scare you!”

I looked at this ghostly figure and realized that it’s voice was that of a young woman’s. I sat for almost a minute looking at it, and just tried to make sure that I wasn’t in fact dreaming. Firmly satisfied in the fact that I wasn’t dreaming, and that I was being visited by something of a spirit, I looked at it and had a queried look on my face.

“Are you here to kill me?”

The spirit giggled a slight bit, then sighed.

“No, I am not going to kill you. The reason I’m here is of a totally different matter.”

“What might that be?” I asked her, as I determined that the spirit was definitely female.

“Quite simply, you’ve been asking God for a wife for a long time. I’m here to tell you that God is listening to you.”

I pikued at this. Now, the question in my head was how the hell did she know THAT?. So I decided to probe a bit more.

“Okay, you say that you’re from God. Were you sent by Christ to visit?”

“You mean Jesus the Christ? Died on the cross? Yes, I was sent by Christ. However, I will say that I’m not an angel or anything like that.”

“Then…what are you?”

“I am actually the spirit of your future wife!”

I heard this, and my mind just went blank. I couldn’t think of anything to say. So I did the only thing natural. I laughed, and I laughed in a way that made it seem like I was going insane. After about a minute, and a bit of a sulking from my future wife ghost, I finally was able to get my laughter down.

“Okay, so let me get this straight: You are my future wife, but you’re in spirit form. You were sent by Christ to visit me and tell me that God is listening to me? About what?”

She just smiled at me in the way a female ghost, who really didn’t have much of a form besides that of a general feminine outline, could only do so.

“Your love life, lack therein, and your future with me!”

My eyes just glazed over again, before I cleared them up.

“I am going to humor this. So, you are my wife in the future. Does the person you’re inhabiting know this?”

“Innately, yes. But I don’t know who you are yet. I know you’re out there somewhere, on the western skyline. However, I don’t know your identity and won’t know.”

I looked at her and sighed.

“This just keeps getting stranger and stranger,” I told myself, before looking at her again.

“Alright, future wife spirit, I guess I have to ask this again so I can get a bit of understanding. Why are you here, in my room?”

She looked at me with what seemed to be a little bit of a baffled look, then smiled.

“I was sent to you by Christ to let you know that I will find you eventually, that you should be patient, and that you should wait on Christ’s timing. It will happen, you just need to be open to waiting.”

“Even if the world is going to hell in a handbasket?”

“Yep! I’ll find you somehow! But you won’t know who I am until such time as Christ gives you the signal.”

I just sat there for a few moments and shook my head.

“Future wife spirit, do you know just how kooky and strange this sounds? I mean, I know a thing or two about wasting away. And now, you’re telling me that even though I’ve been waiting so long, I have to wait a little longer?”

She drifted over to my side and patted my shoulder, which I barely felt.

“I have faith that you will wait for me. I know you will.”

I looked back at at this formless female spirit and blinked.

“Do I get a hint of what you look like so I know what to find?”

“Nope! That’s gonna be a surprise!” she chimed in, smiling with eyes like that of an anime character.

I sighed and just chuckled to myself.

“I’ve been stuck out in the frozen darkness, waiting for so long. I guess, what’s a few more years?”

She moved to the foot of my bed, and smiled at me. I realized that it was actually comforting to have her here, and that indeed that it could be an actual message.

“Gotta run. I’m gonna be waking up soon. But, remember, I’m out there. I will wait for you.”

I was about to say something, but I heard only her voice as she disappeared saying over and over, “I will wait for you.”

I sat up for a while and just realized that the impossible became possible. And while it was only yesterday, I feel as though I will be with her soon. Call it a gut feeling.